BALLISTIC WAX

Radio Show!

2011-06-12T02:34:00.003+01:00

If you're at all interested, I now do a weekly radio show called The Liquidizer on WoW 100.5fm out of Semaphore in South Australia, which can be streamed over the interweb at http://www.wowfm.org/listen.html every Tuesday at 8-11pm (work out the local time for yourself).

Join the facebook page here: https://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/home.php?sk=group_120855047980849&ap=1

Never Mind The Bollocks

2009-01-28T08:34:00.003Z

This tickled me, readers - albeit in an admittedly childish kind of way. When I posted today's link to Toatally Fuzzy, this came up as the word verification.

Hey Leroy!

2009-01-28T00:05:00.012Z

Convertion - Sweet Thing (M + M Mix) 12" single. 1986 Threeway Records, WAY 101T

For me, the period just leading up to the emergence of a new musical phenomena, genre, style, whatever you want to call it, is the most fascinating. For example, I've spent the week with a rockabilly/hillbilly compilation CD in the car and you get regular little hints of the Rock 'N' Roll Behemoth which would emerge within half a decade to swallow up EVERYTHING.

Similarly, Dr Feelgood, The Stooges, Skyhooks, Bowie, New York Dolls, Kilburn & the High Roads were all unknowingly spreading the virus which would turn into full-blown punk (Apologies for my rather distasteful analogy, there). Fascinating.

This, of course, is all with the benefit of hindsight. Now, if humans had been blessed with hindsight in the early eighties, they would have been standing right behind John Smith MP with a defibrillator (and thereby have thwarted the rise of Tony Bliar)and, perhaps, left a bottle of Jack Daniels on the doorstep of the fucked-up-but-trying-to-recover-enough-to-fuck-up-everyone-else George W Bush. They might also have recognised that the slightly off-centre, just a bit too electronic-sounding and slightly strange vocal arrangements of Leroy Burgess contained the seeds...no not seeds - MAGIC BEANS, which would grow into the gargantuan House Music tree beneath the shadow of which dance music as we knew it then would wither and die.

Check out this tune from 1982 (1982, for fucksake!!!!), although I bought this as a reissue in 1986 and it sounded ahead of its time then, and then put on a hat, if you're not already wearing one in this heat/cold (depending where you are when you read this - I like to be inclusive), and take it off to Leroy Burgess.

Rembrandt? Rothko? Rolf Harris?

2009-01-12T07:44:00.009Z

Various Artists - Club Africa CD (1999, Strut CD001)

Now, I'll admit it readily - I am a bit of a pedant. It drives me nuts when people say things like, "Three AM in the morning" or - one that I'm trying to nip in my own personal bud, since moving to Adelaide: "I'm good." (As used in the introduction to any exchange, ANY exchange, no matter how serious or trivial, with anyone, no matter how well or not you know them:

"How you doing?"

"I'm good, thanks - and you..." etc.

No,I'm not good. In fact, I've been very, very bad! However, I am well. WELL!

The reason I'm raising my blood pressure with this here issue is this: Isn't it supposed to be Various Artistes? Well? Isn't it?

Anyway, while you ponder this, and whilst I glow in the 41 degree heat, listen to this absolutely brilliant compilation CD of Afro-Beat, Afro-Fusion, Afro-Funk - call it what you will - compiled by Brighton-based DJ Russ Dewbury (Google him if you can be bothered, I can't be arsed to do the link thing today).

Grab it here.

Winfield Whirlies

2009-01-06T00:28:00.018Z

Average White Band - Atlantic Avenue/She's A Dream 7" (1979, RCA XB 1061)

The sad news reached us today that Woolies has closed it's doors for the last time. This wasn't unexpected - we had been aware that it had been circling the drain for some time - but it's still sad to see a shop which played such a huge role in my childhood and teenage years finally disappear. (I should point out at this point that I'm referring to the British general store rather than the Aussie supermarket of the same name (including the missing apostrophe, which - last time I looked, anyway - is still going strong.)

For me, the best thing about Woolworths - the free Pick N Mix smorgasbord notwithstanding - was the record clearance section. In the old days they seemed to have a rather haphazard approach to buying which would leave them with quite a lot of random records in the bargain bin on sale for mere pennies, just waiting for me and my pocket money to come along.

The Average White Band (or AWB as they were also known, an acronym unfortunately shared with the Afrikaner Weerstandsbeweging) were from Scotland. They experienced HUGE success, (including breaking America - and, more importantly - black America) as well as huge excess (numerous high-lethality heroin incidents - you can take the boy out of Scotland...) whilst hawking their jazz-funky wares. By the time of this single though, they were jumping the shark into Muzak-infested waters, but it's a funny old world, and the very thing that made them sound so borderline-unpleasantly-easy-on-the-ears led them to become prime Hip-Hop sample-fodder.

I remember buying this AWB single from Woolies for - and I'm guessing here - no more than 5 or 10p. It's a decent slice of 5/6ths blue-eyed soul. However, it gets bumped up in my estimations more for the sticker on the sleeve apologising for its black vinyl pressing.

My big sister had a friend who got the EMI version of Anarchy in the UK for 10p from the Woolies bargain bin. I bet you're just bursting to tell me about your Woolies bargain. Leave a comment then. And get the tunes here.

Mental

2009-01-05T12:33:00.000Z

This popped up on crappy local TV tonight. I like it.

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=rmeXrdEXRmY

Annus Mirabilis

2008-12-30T10:22:00.009Z

Andy Stewart - Donald, Where's Your Troosers? 7" 1961, Top Rank International, JAR-427 Just as my Christmas posting summed up a 1970's Christmas in our house, this posting sums up, for me, a 1970's New Years Eve in front of the telly. Every year, Andy Stewart would shake his Scottish-groove-thang across the black and white screens of Britain. Everyone thought this was shite, as I remember, but we all watched it, 'cos there was nothing else on - a bit like Jools 'I-Know-One-Tune-On-ThePiano-And-I'm-Gonna-Play-It' Holland's Hootananny nowadays.

I picked this up at a boot sale a few months back. It's a rather camp little Scottish reel with a cheeky lyric about old Andy travelling the world wearing a kilt and causing consternation where e'er he goes and includes an Elvis impersonation. And it's really rather good. So go put on a dress, pretend it's menswear and click here.

Anyway, not that you're interested, here's my picks of the year:

BEST ALBUM
Jenny Lewis - Acid Tongue.
(Although Portishead's Third needs to be mentioned in dispatches, if only for having a title totally unsuited to the Irish market).

BEST GIG
Eastfield - The Old Wharf (The Ol' Dwarf), Birmingham.

BEST SINGLE
American Boy - Estelle (C'mon, man, it mentions Ribena, for fucks sake!)

NEW DISCOVERY EVEN THOUGH THEY'VE BEEN ROUND YONKS
Tito's Bojs.
Sonic Boom Six.

REDISCOVERY FROM MY OWN RECORD COLLECTION
Norman Connors Group - You Are My Starship LP.
John McLaughlin - Electric Guitarist LP.

BEST TV SHOW
Summer Heights High.
Gavin and Stacey.

BEST READ
Carrie Fisher - The Best Awful.
Neal Stephenson - Cryptonomicon.

THING TO WATCH FOR 2009
Korean food - Bibimbap and Kimchi. Mmmmmm.

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS
Eat more Korean food.
See how long I can go without cutting my hair.
Go on the Cooper's Brewery tour.
Don't get eaten by a shark.

And according to my Last.fm stats, my most played band was Eastfield, my most played tune was Lovie Lovie by Chickie King (downloadable from this blog) and my most played album was Goldfrapp's Seventh Tree. Well, there you go.

Happy New Year.

Well Away On Christmas Day

2008-12-14T06:55:00.012Z

The Piranhas - I Don't Want My Body/(I'm Gonna Get) Well Away, Sire Records (SIR 4046) 1980

It's that time of the year again, albeit with a rather surreal twist for us this year - Christmas in the sun being a rather odd experience. Traditional roast or barbie? Will Santa come down the air con? That sort of thing.

The A1 sideof this 7", I Don't Want My Body, has The Piranhas taking on a touch of Two-Tone - which is no bad thing.

But it is the A2 side which excels. If you want a picture of what Christmas Day was like for me as a kid, then listen to the Brighton odd-balls with one of the finest Christmas-related tunes ever written. (I'm Gonna Get) Well Away evokes the feel of a late 1970's family brilliantly - as good as any Mike Leigh film.

Download it here and play it till people are begging you to stop.

And have a happy Christmas!

Slave To The Rhythmn

2008-12-03T23:25:00.015Z

Everyone's heard of Funkadelic. Everyone's heard of Parliament. Not everyone's heard of Slave...more's the pity.

Slave were around at the time when rock influences began to creep into funk, but they thankfully only ever dabbled with it, rather than going into the full-on 20 minute guitar solo stuff. I've been playing this record, their 1977 debut, a lot lately, their and it's fucking great.

Two members of the band went on to solo success in the eighties: Steve Washington and the old God-Botherer of the dance floor, Steve Arrington.

I once got into fisticuffs over this record. Me and my mate were playing a tape of it in a gym and some cloth-eared twat got all shirty and said to turn it off because it sounded like The Kids From Fame. Bastard. They had to drag me off him.

Do yourself a big funky favour and click here.

I Come From A Land Down Under

2008-12-02T23:14:00.006Z

Well, it's been about four months since my last post. In that time I've moved from Birmingham in England to Adelaide in sunny South Australia. All my records have been shipped over here, we've finally got broadband sorted (thanks to Charlotte's commitment to the battle with Telstra) and I'm ready to post again!

I had been planning to give you a little insight into the wealth of great SA music I had discovered and upload some of the amazing charity shop (or 'op-shops', as they're known here) finds, but all that's been a little thin on the ground. The op-shops are full of absolute shite, including thousands of records by this bloke Kamahl, who must've been massive here in the seventies. One of the most strangely unpleasant voices I've ever heard.

And as for great SA music, the Titans on the SA music scene over the past twenty years have been Cold Chisel (and their singer Jimmy Barnes) -just awful, really, but such absolute local heroes that my mate at work can't speak about them without welling up.

Nowadays, Adelaide's best known for the amazingly brilliant Hilltop Hoods. They're "Heaps Good", as they say down here.

So, in a nutshell, this is Adelaide so far:

* Iced coffee - consumed by the gallon by young and old alike.
* Fantastic, very strong, delicious coffee. All day, every day.
* No ozone layer - sunburn when it ain't even sunny.
* No vinegar on chips - "Chicken salt or normal salt?"
* Crisps being chips and chips being hot chips.
* Pies with tomato sauce on top.
* Sausages, sausages, sausages, morning, noon and night.
* Tailgating monster trucks.
* Little fishes in the clear blue sea.
* Big fucking sharks in the clear blue sea.
* Cooper's beer.
* West End Draught.
* Weather - the conversation topic of which you can never tire.
* Footy - unfathomable.

The Last Of England

2008-07-05T16:53:00.007+01:00

Citizen Fish/AOS3 - Split 7" (1993, Bluurgh Records, Fish 29)

As the more regular visitors to this blog may have noticed, the posts have been a bit less frequent over the past few weeks. This is mainly because we've been busy preparing for THE BIG MOVE - which mainly involves lots of alcohol-fuelled, teary farewells, eating as much curry as we can and going through every one of your possessions piece by piece deciding what to do with them (except, of course, for the records. They're all going with us).

I'm planning to start posting again when we reach our destination, get a house and broadband etc, but until then I'll leave you with this rather splendid little split 7".

T.V. Dinner is your standard Fish fare, but Half Way There is kind of like Citizen Fish put in a blender with the More Specials album, and I kind of hoped at the time that this would signal their new direction. It didn't.

Anybody who went to a festival in the '90s will have come across Sunderland's AOS3. I don't believe Conspiracy was available other than on this single. I was planning to up it a couple of weeks back for the summer solstice, what with it being a jolly slice of insanely positive, crusty, hippy, festivally reggae, like, but alas, I didn't get round to it. You can bag all three tracks here.

See you anon.

Oh, and if you want to know where we're going, click here.

????

2008-06-23T14:44:00.005+01:00

No music this week, but a couple of visual bits and bobs which I stumbled across over the weekend. The first is an advertisement from the Independent On Sunday. What exactly is going on here? Can someone tell me, please?

The second is a card which was pressed into my hand whilst leaving a souvenir shop in Sydney a couple of years back. Basically, I'd put it into my jacket pocket and forgotten about it until I found it on Sunday, when we were having a clearout. Where the blazes did they find this good lookin' gal?

Tom Waits For No Man

2008-06-13T11:31:00.005+01:00

Richie Cole (with Eddie Jefferson, Manhattan Transfer and Tom Waits - Waitin' For Waits (from the LP Hollywood Madness, 1980, Muse Records MR 5207)

There was a nice little interview with Tom Waits in this morning's Independent, which - if you're a fan - you can check out here. And whilst you're reading it you can listen to this classy little Tom Waits guest spot here.

Bursting Bubbles

2008-06-11T16:15:00.004+01:00

Willie "Beaver" Hale - Groove-On 7" (1980, Cat Records, CAT-2017)

I heard a bit of news the other day (thanks, Mum) which shocked me to the core. It turns out that Barrack Obama, the man hotly tipped to be the next leader of the Free World, and whom I had quite admired previously (for a politician), is a West Ham supporter! (Google it, if you don't believe me). Fucking Hell! What the fuck next?

Life goes on, I suppose, and to ease it on it's way, here is a delicious slice of groovy rareness which I picked up in a car boot the other week for mere pennies, performed by a man with a particularly unfortunate nickname (given, it seems, for his protruding teeth rather than any vagina-related reason.) I've got one of his LPs from years ago, and they're worth a go if you see them. Anyway, you've just got to look at this to know it's a hottie, so enjoy it here.

Diggin' The Crates

2008-06-01T16:47:00.003+01:00

I got down to the BIGGEST car boot sale I've ever seen, in Cheddar, Somerset, today. Bloody Hell! I only got to check about a quarter of the tunes on sale, and didn't even bother looking at the CDs. So here's the scores - and, in keeping with the location, there's a couple of slices of cheese amongst 'em:

LPs
Jimmy McGriff - Blues For Mr Jimmy
Tom Lehrer - Revisited
The B-52's - Mesopotamia

7" Singles
The Kinks - Tired Of Waiting For You
Willie "Beaver" Hale - Groove-On
Ripple -The Beat Goes On And On
Kool & The Gang - I Like Music
The Dramatics - Live It Up
Greyhound - Moon River
Nicky Thomas - Love Of The Common People/The Destroyers - Compass
The Velvettes - Needle In A Haystack/He Was Really Saying Something
Andy Stewart - Donald, Where's Your Troosers?
Frank Ifield - Mule Train

And I only spent £6.50!!!!

C30, C60, C90 - Go!

2008-05-30T16:48:00.009+01:00

FUNZiG - Morefishlike?/Death To All Fanatics!(Cassette, 1993/4)
I dragged some tapes down out of the loft this week. Two of the best that I had saved are these, from probably the only bendy-pronk band to ever hail from Blackburn - Funzig.

Now, these really aren't going to be to everyone's taste, but if you like The Cardiacs, then give these a shot. I love 'em, especially Morefishlike? which contained lyrics entirely lifted from a David Attenbrough nature documentary, if I remember correctly. In my opinion, they were massively under-appreciated when they were going, which was made even worse by the fact that they were a really lovely bunch of blokes.

Get Morefishlike? here.

And get Death To All Fanatics! here.

Like Watching Someone Stamp On A Kitten

2008-05-24T12:15:00.008+01:00

Spitboy - Mi Cuerpo Es Mio 7" EP (1994, Allied Recordings, No.40)

Poor old Andy Abraham. Off he goes, having been handed the poisoned chalice of representing a country with a hugely unpopular foreign policy (also known as an Illegal War) in a competition with a voting system which would make Robert Mugabe wince. Poor Andy.

It's not like you can even enjoy watching his downfall, unlike last year when we were able to enjoy the "slag" Javine's exit. This is a bloke who, until he got into the last few in one of the (too) many television talent contests, was emptying bins for a living.

His ability to be seen as a 'nice bloke' was, I suppose, one of the reasons the nation's mums voted for him. It just goes to show, you can be too nice for your own good sometimes.

Someone who has never had that problem is Henry Rollins, whose macho posturing, body image fascism and misogyny became so influential in the punk and hardcore movement during the nineties, to that movement's eternal shame.

Right about the time Henry was at his peak, Spitboy, from San Francisco, were releasing raging hardcore punk with a bit of thought behind it, which was the perfect antidote to the old Muscle Mary's ravings. This three-track single, (Removal, Word Problem and Touch) kicks arse without having to get pumped up on steroids. There's not much else to say, really, except Greece are going to win, I'm voting for Latvia and whether you give a toss about Eurovision or not, you can download here.

A bit of a next morning update. Firstly, as Mrs Spithead was kind enough to point out, it was Scooch who bombed out of last year's competition, not Javine; she was the year before.

Secondly, Greece didn't win, Russia did. That's what having a stranglehold on Europe's fuel supplies does for you. Greece came second.

Poor Andy Abraham - joint last. Terrible song.

Jam

2008-05-21T13:52:00.012+01:00

Graham Central Station - The Jam (from the LP 'Ain't No 'Bout-A-Doubt It' 1975, Warner Bros Records BS4 2876)

I've got two copies of this album, one in normal stereo, one in quadraphonic. Larry Graham was one of the people responsible for taking the art of funk bass playing by the scruff of the neck and giving it a bloody good shake. This can be heard and downloaded here, on the stand out track from this album.

The Jam is just that, a jam, where all the band get to have a bit of a solo and introduce themselves to us. This produces not only one of the funkiest of funk tunes you're ever likely to hear, but a wicked breakbeat(when the drummer does his stuff) which has been sampled numerous times over the years by various hip hoppers - and what may possibly be the earliest example of a drum machine solo.

Toast

2008-05-21T10:30:00.007+01:00

Clint Eastwood - Check 39/Version 7" (1978, Live And Love LAL17)

The late 70's was a great time for reggae. I bought this single back in 1978, and played it to death on a succession of crappy record players, often with a two pence piece blu-tacked to the top of the arm to stop punch of the bassline from knocking the needle out of the groove.

When I think about the abuse some of my records have been through, it's a wonder they play at all. However, this delicious slice of reggae, produced by Bunny Lee, has survived well. Apparently, it's a version of Caroline from his album Step It In A Zion. You can download both sides here.

Paperchase

2008-05-17T09:49:00.008+01:00

For the past week the Guardian newspaper has been giving away songbooks of various acts as an inducement to buy their paper. Now, I stopped buying the Guardian about a year ago, going for their nearest rival, the Independent, instead. I've no real objection to the Guardian; it was just that my newsagent didn't get any in for a few days and I ended up buying the Independent and preferring it.

Yesterday morning, I went into a corner shop to get my paper and they only had the Guardian, so I thought I'd have that instead - it'd make a nice change. However, as I bent down to pick it up, I noticed that they were giving away the Franz Ferdinand songbook. In the split second it took me to register this fact, I had put the paper back on the rack and was out the door on my way to another newsagent to buy the Independent.

Bearing in mind that I am probably the exactly the type of person they need to tempt back to their readership, I think the Guardian needs to have a word with its promotions person.

Chemical Calisthenics

2008-05-16T12:45:00.011+01:00

Quite a few of my records have developed a kind of mould-like stuff on the playing surface over the years. I think this was due to a very damp flat I lived in at one time. This has seriously impeded the playing of the records and, what's more, it has been impossible to get off - until yesterday, that is!

I dug out an old Muddy Waters LP and slapped it on the wheel of steel only to find it was completely unplayable: jumping, sticking, scratchy - completely fucked, not to put too fine a point on it.

So I went into the kitchen with the intention of giving it a soapy bath with some washing up liquid, but instead came up with this method for making your vinyl shine and play like (almost) new.

Step 1 - Lay out a J-cloth, or similar.

Step 2 - Lay record on J-cloth.

Step 3 - Spray playing surface of record with a proprietary surface cleaner (I used the one pictured, but I reckon they're all much of a muchness), keeping it away from the label as much as possible.

Step 4 - With another (CLEAN!!) J-cloth, gently wipe in a circular motion.

Step 5 - Turn record over and repeat.

Step 6 - Run the record under tepid water until you reckon all the cleaner has gone.

Step 7 - Stand LP up to dry.

Step 8 - Stick it on the turntable and hear the difference.

Two Hot Days And A Thunderstorm

2008-05-13T09:38:00.007+01:00

Ojos De Brujo - Vengue CD (2001 Edel Records LC 01666)

A few years back I got myself one of those Freeview digital set-top boxes, which I plugged into my ariel lead, hoping to thereafter experience the delights of multi-channel digital telly at its finest. (If I'm honest, I wanted CBBC for the kids, so they'd let me have a lie-in!)

It worked for about an hour on the first evening before the inadequacy of my ariel won out and, realising that it left me with less telly than before, I disconnected it and gave the bloody thing away. However, what an hours viewing it was! It was a BBC 3 film of Ojos De Brujo live at WOMAD. I was absolutely transfixed.

For those who don't know, Ojos De Brujo are a Barcelona-based collective who fuse elements of music from the latin diaspora with hip hop, art and politics, coming under the mestizo music umbrella.

Nowadays staunchly DiY, Vengue was their first album which was released on a major label (and which taught them an expensive lesson about the nature of capitalism in the music industry). It's now quite hard to get hold of, but contains some brilliant music, particulary Tahita - with its flamenco/hip hop fusion and DJ Panco scratching the very BeJesus out of old flamenco records.

So, while the sun is still shining over Brummagem, I thought I'd upload this..................here.

It's Too Hot To Think Of A Snappy Title

2008-05-11T08:56:00.005+01:00

Fred Schneider & the Shake Society CD

After checking out a recent post about the B52s on the always excellent Always Searching For Music, I thought I'd upload this - Fred Schneider's solo album.

Unfortunately, after about an hour's searching, I couldn't find the CD. I reckon it must've slipped behind the cabinet. That means, I've been unable to glean any info from the cover and have had to find a little picture on Google.

What I can tell you, is that Fred didn't stray too far from familiar territory on this. In fact, Monster, seems to have full B52s vocals. It's well worth a download, this. Let me know what you think.

Crate Diggin'

2008-05-09T12:15:00.004+01:00

This week's charity shop acquisitions (in Cotteridge and Kings Heath, Birmingham) were:

Band Of Gold - Freda Payne 7" 1970 (Good condition)- a quality bit of soul.

9 to 5 - Lady Sovereign/The Ordinary Boys 2005 One sided 7"(Mint condition) - we really like young Sov in our house, especially this song. Not so keen on the Ordinary Boys version, though. They were just a bit...well...ordinary! I'll stick this on the To Be Uploaded pile, I think.

Patsy Cline Volume 2 - on the Pickwick Label LP 1967(Good condition) - this was going to be really good or really shit. Unfortunately, it veers towards the latter.

The World of Stanley Holloway LP 1971 (Mint condition)- Includes The Lion And Albert which is definitely going to be uploaded soon.

Light Of The World - Light Of The World 12" 1979 (Mint condition)- you can't beat a 40p slice of BritFunk.

Battle of Who Could Care Less - Ben Folds Five CD single. I like this.

...Wax Off

2008-05-08T18:37:00.008+01:00

A Potted History - Back To The Planet CD 1994 (Arthur Mix Records, BTTP 005)

The sun has got his hat on in Brum at the moment, and I'm as pink as a baboon's arse. Cool. Such are the degree of my burns that I'm going to feature a CD for the first time. Ooh, everything's going woozy!

[Flashback to...] The summer of 1992, I'm at a festival. Who'se this excellent band (with a very comely lead singer) who are playing really bouncy, happy ska-for-crusties? Why, it's Back To The Planet. [Enough of the flashback; I can't keep it up any longer]

In a nutshell, BTTP came up through the DiY festy scene of the early 90's before becoming such ardent suckers of corporate cock that they didn't notice until it was too late that it was Game Over and it was them who'd been spat out. Shame.

Anyway, not wishing to dwell on the negative on such a lovely day, for a while they were brilliant. Really brilliant. (Look, I know that if all you ever heard of them was Teenage Turtles or their CRUCIFICTION of Ghost Town on the telly, you won't believe me, but you're going to have to trust me on this. OK?)

This CD is a collection of their three cassette only releases which came out prior to the awful stuff they released on the major label, which they issued - presumably to raise some cash - after they were dropped by said label. It now goes for £30 odd quid on ebay (so if you download it, leave some feedback, you ingrates).

So put on your stripey tights, grab a can of Special Brew, grow some dreads, spend some of your trust fund on a knackered old bus and a 'teenth of rocky, and smell. And whilst you're at it, click here.

Wax On...

2008-05-08T14:07:00.009+01:00

Demolition Derby E.P. - P.M.T. (Anti-Fash, Ex Punk)/Red Flag 77 (The Martians, Nervous System)(?1996, 7" Weird Records, WEIRD 009)

When they come to demolish our house, probably after we're all dead and buried, someone's going to find this picture of Jenny and Sue from P.M.T. underneath the floorboards, where it had slipped through the crack, after being dropped. I like the thought of that. What they won't realise is that P.M.T. were a great band and a wicked laugh. They used to cover 99 Red Balloons, too, but they won't have heard of that, either.

Jenny, the saxophonist went on to join Ex-Cathedra, mentioned previously. (I don't just throw this blog together, you know.)

I know less about Red Flag 77, except that they were from Ipswich. But if they're alright with P.M.T., they're alright with me. Download all four tracks here.

A Bank Holiday Weekend Shouty Ska Punk Treat

2008-05-04T16:51:00.010+01:00

Ex-Cathedra - Stop Yer Running/Got No Answers/What It Isn't/Watch-Out! 7" (Tartan Records TART 2 ?1994)

What can I say about Ex-Cathedra?

They were from Glasgow.

They played shouty, punk as fucking fuck, ska-punk from the mid to late 90's.

They did a cover of P.A.I.N's British Justice which was better than the original.

They played at our wedding.

They shared names with a Birmingham-based early music ensemble.

They contained folk who went on to be in Fleas and Lice, Scunnered and Suicide Bid (and probably lots more).

They were an ace band - a really good mix of shoutiness, skankiness and all-round niceness, really.

This was, I think, their second, self-released, 7" single and it's my favourite bit of them on record. So, do yourself a favour and download it here.

Diggin' The Crates

2008-05-04T16:14:00.008+01:00

Went to visit the in-laws down in Clevedon, North Somerset this weekend and got a chance to scour the ten or so charity shops in the town for tunes. Here's what I got: Les Paul Now! - Les Paul LP (Near Mint condition) I know why Les Paul is such a massive figure in the history of recorded sound, but I never could stand his music. I couldn't resist this 1967 LP, though, just for the cover. I Googled it and it's being sold for considerably more than the 50p I paid for it, too.

Red Army Ensemble LP (Average condition) I couldn't resist this 1963 LP - just look at the cover!

Motown Chartbusters Volume 9 LP (Excellent condition)

All Day And All Of The Night/Tired Of Waiting For You - The Kinks 7" (Excellent Condition) A 1965 US issue and my find of the week, I reckon.

Mayday! Mayday!

2008-05-01T12:05:00.011+01:00

I HATE HATE - RAZZY 7"(2003, CASUAL RECORDS LOUPE012)

Well, it's the 1st May 2008, and despite a couple of hundred years of class struggle, things have never looked worse for the worker: a New Labour government that, after ten years of power, is happy to cut taxes for the rich whilst robbing from the lowest paid, our underpaid, ill-equipped and over-stretched troops engaged in a couple of dodgy wars, religious zealots clamouring to out-shout, out-bomb and out-manouvre each other in the battle for political power, that pasty-faced Hooray-Henry, Cameron, actually managing to convince people that they should make him Prime Minister, rather than them laughing/spitting in his face (delete as you desire, Brother or Sister), the credit crunch proving that capitalism is a REALLY shit way to run things, but with working people having to foot the bill for this great Neo-liberal experiment, having to live in the country with the most electronic surveillance in the world and yet having to run the gauntlet of knife-weilding hoodies every time you pop out for a pint of milk, Duffy...I could go on (but I'll leave that to Nuzz Prowling Wolf!)

So, in an attempt to take the edge off the misery, I've decided to upload you a cheerful bit of soul, with a lovely positive message, which sounds like it comes from the late sixties, but was actually released in 2003. You can LISTEN or DOWNLOAD it here. Oh, and have a butchers at Razzy here: I bet you'll be surprised.

A Spaceman Came Travelling

2008-04-30T14:22:00.020+01:00

NO ROOM/SPOCK'S MISSING - ATHLETICO SPIZZ 80 7"(ROUGH TRADE, RTSO: 5)

In the care of people with dementia, there's something called Reminiscence therapy. In my experience of this as a student nurse some years back it largely involved playing music of Vera Lynn to the patients, on the assumption that that would've been what they had listened to when they were young.

Now, I reckon that it's likely that when we get (even) older, and if we're unfortunate enough to get dementia, someone is going to make a similar judgement about us and will be playing us...oh, I don't know, Duffy or Boyzone or - God forbid - Chris De Burgh songs. All day. Every day. Fuck.

I think it's time to make a living will.

If I ever lose the capacity to choose what I listen to, please play me Athletico Spizz 80 No Room/Spock's Missing (Rough Trade RTSO: 5), which you can download here, a record with the enviable ability to make almost anyone who hears it pull that nails on a blackboard face and exclaim "What the fuck are you listening to?" Anyone, that is, apart from those who know how brilliant they were/he was, especially live.

As a little footnote, I was going into a rehearsal studio in Hackney in 1989-ish and there was a bloke putting up a Spizz flyposter on the wall outside. I said to my mate, "Look Spizz is playing again," and the bloke turned round, brush and paste in hand, and said "Yes, I am." And it was him. The man himself. So we had a little chat and went our separate ways. Me into the studio; he off in his little red and black spaceship.

As a second little footnote, I taught myself how to play bar-chords on the guitar by copying a photo of the guitarist, who was called Scott. Thanks Scott.

All Punned Out

2008-04-30T13:52:00.004+01:00

Whilst I'm on the subject of the RAR Silver Jubilee (which I wasn't, but being as mentioned them a couple of posts ago), here's a little diamond (and not illegally mined, either) from someone who played at the celebrations - Tony Allen. He's now drumming with Paul Simenon and Damon All-Bran in The Good The Bad And The Queen, rather than with the band whith whom he released this 12" single, N.E.P.A. (Never Expect Power Always) in 1984 (Earthworks MWKS 3001), Afrobeat 2000. But don't let his current associations spoil this for you. Allen was once Fela Kuti's drummer and he and Afrobeat 2000 took on the thankless task of hawking Afrobeat round Britain when the whole concept of World Music was just a glimmer in Paul Simon's wallet. The title track is a first rate slice of afro-funk, which you can both LISTEN TO and DOWNLOAD here.

When I first heard this, I thought its main refrain was a brilliantly astute expression of the political sang-froid necessary to survive the cut-and-thrust of African politics . Then I found out that it was about the Nigerian electricity supply company!

Lesson In Hip Hop

2008-04-29T12:25:00.009+01:00

When they come to write the big History of Hip Hop book, there will be one name there which will appear slightly out of place: Gilbert O'Sullivan.

How the piano playing purveyor of Seventies pop-schmaltz ended up playing a pivotal role in the history of one of the world's great musical genres was by successfully sueing the not insubstantial arse of Biz Markie after said portly rapper sampled his slit-yer-wrists classic Alone Again (Naturally), thereby making the use of samples a rather more complicated and expensive business than it had been previously.

This acted as a bullet in the head for one sub-genre of Hip-Hop, cut-and-paste, which was pioneered by Double Dee & Steinski in 1985 on today's crisp biscuit, Lesson 3 (History of Hip Hop Mix), which you can LISTEN to or DOWNLOAD here. People like De La Soul had really taken this style and ran with it, producing some some of my favourite music of any style. And you can only wonder what classics might have been created if Gilbert hadn't interfered. Thanks mate. Wanker.

A Small Wonder

2008-04-28T11:35:00.009+01:00

The media is full of the Rock Against Racism event which occurred over the weekend, and with tales of how great the Victoria Park event was 25 years ago.

One person who seems to have been airbrushed out of the history of RAR is Patrik Fitzgerald, who was bottled off stage early in the day by poseur punks impatient to see the swagger and leftist posturing of The Clash (Note to Irish Dave: Is that scathing enough, for you, mate?)

Now, to me, Fitzgerald is the personification of the DiY ethos which (supposedly) runs through punk like the lettering in a stick of rock - he picked up a guitar, learned a couple of chords and went out and Did It Himself. What's more, he is still doing so. Still, as Aesop said a few hundred years earlier: "Men often applaud an imitation and hiss the real thing.”

This was his second single, Backstreet Boys, which came out on Small Wonder in 1978 (SMALL 6). You can download all four tracks here.

And it's great.

R.I.P Humph.

2008-04-26T13:55:00.006+01:00

One of the few remaining bright spots in the ever-duller Radio 4 schedule, has been I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue, the best bit of which was the masterful skills of its host, Humphrey Lyttelton, who died yesterday.

R.I.P. Humph, cooking the tea won't be the same without you.

Diggin' The Crates

2008-04-26T11:22:00.019+01:00

I've had the opportunity to explore the innards of charity shops in three areas of the West Midlands over the past week. Here are the results:

HARBORNE
About 10 charity shops and not a single record worth buying...not one! (Although I did get Gita Sereny's biography of Albert Speer for 75p, and have rather fabulous Devilled Chicken Livers and an exceptional pint of Everard's Tiger Best Bitter in The Junction pub).

NORTHFIELD
There was an abundance of Hi-NRG in one shop, with a smattering of cheesy disco, which led me to believe that the only gay man with the combination of no style and extreme courage required to live in Northfield had cleared out their vinyl collection.

I did manage to score the following gems, all in mint nick:

Evelyn 'Champagne' King - Music Box/It's OK 12" (Cracking B-side - will upload asap).

American Express - Exodisco/Kick Back (a bit of disco frivolity,based on the Exodus film theme, and featuring crappy old Huey Lewis in his pre-& the News band. Currently going for £25 on ebay.

Me And You featuring 'We The People Band' - You Never Know What You've Got/Got Again 12" (Had the 7" of this jolly pop-reggae tune when it came out).

Bernard Cribbins - Right Said Fred/Quietly Bonkers 7".

Linda Clifford with the Jones Girls - Runaway Love/Runaway Love (The Jones Girls)/You Are You Are 12" (An eighties re-release. I've had Linda Clifford's version on a rare groove compilation for years, but had never heard The Jones Girls' version, which is brilliant).

Ready For The World - Oh Sheila (Extraterrestrial M&M Extended Mix/Slide Over/Oh Sheila (Original 12" Mix)/Oh Sheila (Original Dub)/I'm The One Who Loves You - Double 12" pack .

Billie Holiday - The Legend Of Billie Holiday LP (1985 compilation).
Top Of The Pops 1970.

Kim Cordell - Same Again Sir? LP in poor condition. (Bought purely for the fantastic cover, see above, which would be an asset to anyone's collection, I reckon).

bis vs. the d.i.y. corps - this is fake d.i.y/burn the suit/dance to the disco beat. CD single.

Alicia Keys - Songs In A Minor. CD. (And rather good it is, too).

REDDITCH

In the shadow of the comely Kingfisher Centre, I found:

Johnny Cash - Johnny Cash At San Quentin LP (Say no more.)

Kurt Weill: The Threepenny Opera. The Berlin Theatre Songs with Lotte Lenya. Orchestra and Chorus Conducted by Wilhelm Bruckner-Ruggeberg. 2 LP boxed set. (Released in 1974, but of the 1958 recording - my find of the week).

Mum, Have You Seen My Going Out Shirt? (Part 2)

2008-04-24T12:58:00.014+01:00

I heard a lovely story - probably apocryphal - about The Wolfe Tones. It was the height of the 1981 Hunger Strike, and the band were playing their usual set of republican rebel songs to a packed and emotionally charged crowd in Waterford. Derek Warfield steps up to the microphone and says, in a somewhat bellicose and rabble-rousing fashion, "Have we got any British in the house tonight?"

"Yes,me," chirps up one lonely English voice.

Slightly thrown by this unexpected occurance, and not wanting to hurt this chap's feelings, Mr Warfield says, "Well I hope you're having a lovely time in Waterford, and that you enjoy your stay in Ireland."

This is a cracking little album, which is particularly notable for the band's funky threads on the inner sleeve.

You can download the whole 14 tracks here.

Mum, Have You Seen My Going Out Shirt? (Part 1)

2008-04-24T11:30:00.003+01:00

I bought this LP back in 1984, as an American import, from the brilliant but now defunct Jifs (which stood for Jazz, Funk & Soul) Records in Chadwell Heath, Essex, where I would drop my paltry wages off on the way home from work every Friday (This really was the old days, man! Most people still got paid in cash in a little brown envelope every week). This cost me £7.99 then - which was roughly double the cost of a domestic release.

C.L. Blast is from the other Birmingham (the one in Alabama) and sings, what we used to call at the time, Deep Soul - which, it seems to me, was largely independently produced in the Southern States and was a bit more bluesy.

Now, this album is pretty dismal, if I'm honest, so I'm not going to upload the whole thing. Apart from the stonking Lay Another Log On The Fire, which you can listen to or download here. It's fabulous: a cheesy-lyric, a Fender Stratocaster solo, a full brass section and a wicked vocal performance. What more could you want?

What you could want is a nice get-up like C.L. is wearing on the cover: a delightful orange with white and black stripes shirt with jauntily raised collar and cuffs, high-waisted slacks, a gold medallion and a 'tache. This looked unbelievably shit, even in 1984 - and that's saying something!

Dragon Kebab Meat and Chips, Please George.

2008-04-22T18:08:00.024+01:00

One of the things that really sticks in my gizzard is the way that the English lavish praise on folk music from far and wide whilst dismissing their own musical heritage as laughable, finger-in-the-ear shite.

So, as today is the day when all Englishmen and women celebrate the old dragon-slaying Turk with a pint of foaming,nut-brown ale (I suggest London Pride), I suggest that you download the little mix-tape I've compiled (click here), wherein you'll find Bellowhead's Rambling Sailor, Eliza Carthy's Turpin Hero, The Oldham Tinkers (demonstrating just how impenetrable the english language can be) with Come Whoam To Thi Childer An' Me, Martin Simpson's version of Rounding The Horn and Hard Times In Old England By The Copper Family. (Not ripped from vinyl, but enjoyable just the same).

Now You Mention It....

2008-04-22T16:58:00.004+01:00

A friend of mine, who works in adult education in a prison told me that, following a complaint from the prison chaplain, all the 'Get Rid Of Your Gremlins' posters had to be taken down, as - due to their uncanny resemblance to Old Benny - they were deemed to be offensive to Catholics.

Cheap & Cheerful

2008-04-21T14:34:00.008+01:00

I like my vinyl like I like my women: cheap and cheerful.

I'm not going to waffle on about this too much - just to say it's one of my favourite finds ever (dug from a crate in an old Steptoe's Yard-style junk shop in the eighties for 10p or something). Spyder Turner's I Can't Make It Anymore (MGM K13692) is a proper bit of stomping Northern Soul, and you can both preview and download it here.

It Wasn't Just Me Who Wanted To Puke, Then, John?

2008-04-21T11:12:00.003+01:00

Whilst I think John Prescott's coming out as a bulimia nervosa sufferer is probably the only decent thing he's managed to do in his political career, I do think it might be wise to rule out e-coli infection as the cause of the vomiting, seeing as he spent so many years with his tongue up Tony Blair's arse.

Alco-Pop

2008-04-19T13:14:00.004+01:00

Here's an entertaining few minutes for you from the marvellous Rob & Skatz.YouTube - Rob and Skatz

My Drug Heaven

2008-04-18T09:42:00.010+01:00

It's a funny place, Birmingham. It's a bit like having a friend who possesses all the characteristics you could wish for in a friend: warmth, friendliness, open-mindedness, creativity, unpretentiousness, with many and varied interests, lacking in artifice, accepting of diversity, not to mention the ability to slap a metal bowl of delicious curry in front of you, along with a table size naan bread for a pittance, but with really low confidence and having had such shocking dress sense in the past that the rest of the country wouldn't be seen dead with them! Certainly, such are its considerable charms, that the people who move here from other parts - like myself - tend to stay.

Musically, for my generation at least, the city lived under the shadow of reggae, especially that pop-reggae Collossus, UB40, although I remember being rather thrilled to go to Handsworth when we first moved here, because of Steel Pulse and having loved the Handsworth Revolution album as a teenager.

It's interesting how many Brummies crop up when you're in far-flung places. For instance, we heard Jamelia playing in a shopping centre in Kuala Lumpur and found G.B.H. CDs for sale in Sydney.

About 15 years ago, loads of people started travelling to Brum for its Handbag House clubs. It was like the city took a shit-load of ecstasy with all its new E'd up mates and had a good look at its self and decided to shake off its dowdy image - and, deciding not to do things by half measures, started to dress like a pole dancer in a glitter factory explosion.

In the meantime, House Of God was taking all the people who probably wouldn't have been let in to the new, shiny clubs (even if they'd wanted to): the punks, crusties, the more hardcore ravers, and packing them into any available space to bombard them with quality techno, whilst eschewing completely the whole cult of the DJ. It is, quite simply, a club that couldn't have happened anywhere else.

One stalwart of House Of God is Sir Real. His 1997 12" (hence the crappy half-scan above), This Is...Sir Real(Round Records SRRR-004) is, quite simply, the best bit of techno I've ever heard. Go to comments to download it.

The Cat's Whiskers

2008-04-16T10:14:00.015+01:00

I have never been able to resist a bit of rockabilly. A couple of years ago, myself and Charlotte (my other half) took ourselves off for a bit of a drive round Australia. I had burned a few compilation CDs to play in the car and it was about three quarters of the way between Melbourne and Sydney when she finally had enough (the final straw being the live version of Frank Zappa's cod-reggae version of Bolero)and accused me (falsely, as it happens)of bringing five CDs of obscure fucking B-sides, and telling me in no uncertain terms that the next record shop we found I was to buy something more fucking listenable. The next record shop we came to was the absolutely AMAZING Red Eye Records in Sydney, and -despite going in with the best of intentions and with my relationship in peril - I came out with a compilation of rockabilly acetates. I can only blame the rockabilly revival of 1979.

Now, I can only speak for London, but there was a very well established rockabilly scene (based largely at the Southgate Royalty, but also round a brilliant DJ called Fifties Flash) which had been going on happily for many years prior to this, so it wasn't really a revival but an influx of former punks and skinheads looking for something new and bringing with them a certain punk aesthetic.

It was quite hard work being the only rockabilly in my school. Not only did I have to face mod-revivalists every day and people calling me Gripper (a character in Grange Hill at the time with a flat-top haircut) on the 294 bus, but I had to get up at six in the morning every other Saturday to travel from Romford to Streatham (a bloody long trek, and a journey which took me through Brixton during peak riot season) to get my hair cut at Andy's Barber Shop (the only good flat-top in London).

This punk influence led to the creation of bands like The Meteors, The Polecats and, today's selection, The Blue Cats, whom I remember as being the most authentic-sounding of all the revivalist bands. Their first two singles, I'm Gonna Die/I'm Driving Home (Charly Records CYS 1072) and Wild Night/Jump Cat Jump (Charly records CYS 1075) released in 1980 and 1981 respectively, are fantastically exciting slabs of rock 'n' roll which every home should own. So here's your chance.

New Town New Rhotics

2008-04-10T11:21:00.008+01:00

Singing in your own accent is good. As someone with the dubious fortune to have been born and raised in Romford (in Essex, but part of the Greater London conurbation) and having moved to Birmingham seventeen years ago, I am personally blessed with a delightful blend of two of the accents generally considered to be the most unpleasant for the listener - the aural equivalent of a mixture of butterscotch and banana Angel Delight, if you like - not too bad on their own, but a big no-no when combined.

Accents are wonderful things, and I love to hear people sing in proper Estuary English, rather than the Kate Nash/Lily Allen/Damon All-Bran bastardisation which has become known as 'Mockney', and this leads me to today's selection.

Scum Of Toytown came from Stevenage one of the 'New Towns' thrown up in the sixties to house those known - like myself - as London Overspill . Unfortunately, the town planners took as their inspiration the Stalinist concrete model (see, for example Grozny).

I first became aware of Scum Of Toytown in 1993 via the Biting Back CD,(Words Of Warning CD35) which was compiled by Martin Kollusion, the DJ/Promoter/All Round Good Egg at The Square in Harlow (Essex's own version of Grozny) from live recordings from that venue. Scum Of Toytown's Sink Or Swim just stood out a mile from the rest of the tracks.

That year, Words Of Warning had also released their Destruction Of Both Houses Of Parliament By Fire(WOW31) 7" which contains studio versions of Sink Or Swim, Jackboot Crusade and Different Drum - three tracks which were to feature on their 1994 Strike CD (WOWCD41) in re-recorded and more developed and, probably - although I'm a bit undecided here, superior versions.

The great thing about the earlier version of Different Drum is singer, Lea's full-on Stevenage accent, something that is, sadly, mostly lost in the album version.

I've upped the all three tracks from the single, plus the live version of Sink Or Swim. However, I should point out that the rather poor quality on the 7" tracks is due to it having been pressed on vinyl made from some substance akin to melted down Angel Delight packets, and not my needle!

Groove Tool

2008-04-08T13:14:00.004+01:00

Over the Easter holidays, we visited a caravan site in Porthcawl. Imagine my delight when I saw the neon light display over the D.J. booth in the family entertainment venue! Whoever was responsible - I salute you!

Ska-Core

2008-04-08T09:46:00.011+01:00

I would expect that everyone reading this would be acquainted with most of the ska revival stuff that came out in the late 70's/early 80's, however I'd be willing to bet that you haven't heard of today's platter that matters.

In 1980, Mobster released a double A-side 7", Simmer Down (The Wailers' tune) and Mobster Shuffle (a ska'd up version of the William Tell Overture) on the Ensign label (ENY 41) in the hope of surfing the ska wave to the golden sands of success where their fellow ska revivalists were already catching the rays of pop success. Unfortunately, for them they fell at the first hurdle (Blimey, I am the metaphor mix-master!).

However, one man's under-achievement is another man's vinyl rarity (It's going for a tenner on NetSounds). So, go out, get an apple, place it on a small boy's head and attempt to shoot it off with a crossbow - and whilst you're doing that - go into comments (below) and download the perfect musical accompaniment.

Killer B

2008-03-21T09:17:00.000Z

In 1978, The Real Thing capitalised on the Star Wars craze and had a disco smash with Can You Feel The Force?. However, back in Liverpool 8, trouble was brewing, and Chris and Eddie Amoo - who I reckon had been listening to Gil Scott-Heron's Winter In America - reflected this in their masterwork: Children Of The Ghetto, which ended up on the B side.

I bought this as a 7" at the time, and always craved a longer version, where the band got to stretch their jazz chops even further. But, alas, when I found the 12" at a boot sale, I was rather disappointed to find that only the A side was an extended version. Still, this is arguably not only the greatest bit of political soul released on this side of the pond, but the greatest B side EVER!

He's A Real Gone Guy

2008-03-20T14:00:00.000Z

I felt genuinely sad when I read in today's paper that John Hewer, the actor famous for playing Captain Birds Eye has died.

Some time back in the eighties, I used to buy my records from a basement record shop (the name of which escapes me, I'm afraid) on Camden High Street, and the bloke who worked there ,and with whom I would while away many an hour dicussing tunes, was an actor who - despite being in his 30's - played one of the late Captain's little helpers.

Without a doubt, the best record I bought there was the 7" of Nelly Lutcher's He's A Real Gone Guy. The scratch at the end has become an integral part of the song for me - it wouldn't be the same without it. Just as fish finger adverts aren't the same without the Cap'n.

Spoontown Rats

2008-03-14T10:39:00.000Z

I've never been what you might call an early adopter. I remember being in Southampton, at the Joiner's Arms, at one of the gigs put on by the absolutely brilliant S.T.E. Collective, some time in the mid-90's, and someone offered to do a web-site for the band. I remember thinking "What possible use could we have for a website?" - the whole computer thing seemed so alien, unnecessary and - let's be honest - nerdy back then! It's funny how times change ain't it?

Another almost totally analogue band was Sheffield's Blind Mole Rat. They split up before the internet became an integral part of almost everyone's lives, so there's precious little about them online.

But - in a nutshell - all you need to know is this:

They came from Sheffield, the Yorkshire town known for its fine cutlery.
They played anarcho-folk-punk(or, indeed, punk-folk)-ska.

They were nothing like The Levellers, despite almost every review of them mentioning The Levellers. (Funny, I was reading an online local newspaper article about their recent reunion gig, and the Levellers were mentioned there, too! Mind you, I've gone and mentioned The Levellers here,too. Perhaps the two bands will be joined forever in this unhappy but inescapable marriage - Get Jeremy Kyle on the 'phone NOW!).

They released one vinyl EP 'Rat-A-Tat-Tat', which I've uploaded for you, and a handful of cassette-only albums, including the stunning Viva Zapata which I promise to upload as soon as I've figured out the technology - there I go again, Ned Ludd would've scoffed!

Premier League

2008-03-08T15:39:00.000Z

I had the opportunity to ferret through the record bins in about four charity shops yesterday afternoon (I'm living the fucking dream, me!), and it wasn't 'til I was in number four (the PDSA shop in Kings Heath, if you must know), that I happened upon this little gem - a Peter Pan comic book and 7" record of Jules Verne's 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea from the late '70's, in near-mint nick, for 99p. Go on, admit it - you're jealous.

Where's The Rennie's?

2008-03-05T14:15:00.000Z

When I was in my late teens I was in a blues band. This was my first band and, if I'm honest, BB King wouldn't have shat himself and retrained as a plumber if he'd heard us.

The singer in this band's dad had been in '70's bands Harmony Grass and Capability Brown and he used to do a night at a pub in Romford called The Parkside Hotel, with his mate Mick from The Rubettes and we all used to go along and would often get up and do a song, as would a chap called Tony Rivers, who was (in)famous for being that baggy-necked, Devil Woman-bating, eponymous wine-hawking, Cliff Richard's, backing singer.

Fast forward twenty or so years and I'm rifling through the record section of a charity shop and I come to the shocking realisation that you don't see as many Top Of The Pops LPs as you used to.
Top Of The Pops LPs were what I grew up listening to. Produced by the budget Hallmark label, they were sold in supermarkets and Woolworth's-type shops and were compilations of the current chart hits, only they were cover versions by session musicians trying their hardest to sound like the original acts. They were aimed at working class families who didn't have the cash to buy the original music. They always had a picture of a dolly-bird on the front cover, too (for the dads', I s'pose). These ran from 1968 to (amazingly, I reckon) 1985, so there were hundreds released.

So, back to my charity shop realisation. The record bins of charity shops used to be flooded with these, as people became more sophisticated in their musical purchasing habits and cast them asunder. But, over the years, as even the charity shops sent them to landfill, you saw fewer. I decided there and then to appoint myself curator of The National Archive of Top Of The Pops LPs in order to save this remarkable icon of popular culture from being lost forever.

There are a few gems, I can tell you: covers of The Jam (Eton Rifles, David Watts), Public Image Ltd (Death Disco), Bowie (Heroes), Ian Dury & the Blockheads (Hit Me With Your Rythmn Stick) and the piece de resistance, which I have uploaded for you to wrap your delicate, conch-like ears around: The Sex Pistols' Pretty Vacant, the singer of which - in a rather amusing attempt to sound like John Lydon, ends up sounding like Barry Humphries.

So, whilst researching my new found collection, it turned out that Tony Rivers didn't just harmonise with the God-bothering, Wimbledon-crowd-pleasing, Batchelor Boy, he also sang on many of these fine records. It's strange how life, like so much Pickled Onion Monster Munch, can repeat on you sometimes.

No-Guitar Heroes

2008-03-05T13:24:00.000Z

Unfortunately, Guts Pie Earshot were the best band I'd ever seen. The reason I say unfortunately will become clear.

Back in (I think) '96, Spithead were touring Europe. We had to do our first couple of gigs without Julee, our organ player, so we weren't firing on all cylinders, to be honest. Anyway, we were due to headline the Stemwede Festival near Osnabruck, Germany, which turned out to be the biggest gig we'd ever played - it was a really brilliant free festival with thousands of punters.

Our German tour manager, Nolle, had told us about this brilliant local band who were also playing, so I wandered round to the stage to watch them and blimey! I'll try and describe the experience as best I can, but you really had to be there...

At the time GPE consisted of bass and dums, keyboard, cello and a female singer. The noise they made was a mixture of raging hardcore punk (think NomeansNo) with techno, and even folky and classical elements - and (even better, in my opinion) no guitar. The singer was tattooed, mohicaned and in possession of a voice of such intensity, power and technical ability that I have rarely heard the like. She would switch between operatic wailing and gutteral snarling with absolute ease, and all this whilst looking cool as fuck and doing karate kicks in the air (not easy, I reckon).

So there I stood, half-cut on fine (and free) German beer, smoking the rich, dark (and free) Dutch tobacco kindly given to me by a nice young man, whose job seemed to be giving away decorative tins of tobacco, watching thousands of pissed locals going absolutely mental and thinking to myself, "this is the most stunning band I've ever seen". Unfortunately, my enthusiasm was tempered somewhat by the realisation that we had to go on after them. And let me tell you, dear reader, that no-one but NO-ONE in any band wants to go on after the best band they've ever seen.

Thankfully, though, whoever had planned the line-up for that evening (Ich weiß nicht, wem Sie sind, aber ich bin ewig in Ihrer Schuld, mein Freund!) had put on what could only be described as a Pink Floyd-esque-too-much-cheese-for-tea-bad dream next who acted as such an effective buffer between GPE and ourselves that the crowd was more than ready to overlook our many shortcomings that evening.

GPE are still going - although are now a cello and drums two-piece, who play a sort of drum 'n' bass/punk/arabesque hybrid which is well worth checking out on their website. They continue to be truly unique and have remained DiY-as-fuck. I'm still listening to them and enthusing passionately over them to anybody who will listen.

The tune I've uploaded for your listening pleasure is the incredibly beautiful Close To Distance from the 10" EP I purchased that very day at Stemwede, a version which I don't believe is available elsewhere.

Flexi-time

2008-02-10T13:01:00.000Z

I've come over all nostalgic...well, nostalgic and hungover, actually, which is a peculiar combination. The reason for the nostalgia (because I just know you're dying for me to tell you), dear reader, is a flexidisc. It's funny to think that there's now a HUGE percentage of the population who don't know what a flexidisc is. Just in case you fall into this deprived group, I'll explain.

Flexidiscs were very common a couple of decades ago. They were one-sided seven-inch singles pressed on thin plastic which were usually made to be given away (often on magazines) for promotional purposes. Now, few things excite me as much as a bit of free music, and I can still feel the little frisson of excitement I'd get when I got a flexidisc. Unfortunately, I seem to have lost all but one of them, but what a little floppy gem it is!

The Mo-dettes were one of my favourite bands when I was in my early teens. I'd seen them a couple of times at the Saturday Morning Madness gigs at the Hammersmith Odeon and had played their first two singles to death. I was also completely besotted with their lead singer, Ramona, who remains one of the finest bits of totty to ever grace a stage.

Anyway, my big sister had been to see them and bought this flexidisc home with her. It's a cover of Twist & Shout (Mode 1 1/2) and it's really quite good.

Bum Notes

2008-01-25T11:58:00.000Z

Perfection isn't very attractive. It's the little imperfections which make life interesting and worth living. Take an orchestra: the greatest orchestra in the world is a collection slightly out-of-tune instruments being played slightly out-of-time by people with varying levels of concentration, interest or commitment. The result, however, is rather good. Take your favourite record in the world: I bet whoever made it can't bear to listen to it, because all they'll hear are the imperfections, even though you may never have noticed them.

I can think of a couple of my favourite records which contain quite glaring cock-ups: Gangsters by The Specials contains a drum slip-up and My Favourite Things by John Coltrane no less, contains a piano bum note. It just makes me love 'em more.

It's the same with people. That crooked nose, fat arse, pair of big ears, third - or even fourth - nipple, atrophied leg, palsied face...they're the things we find endearing about our loved ones. However, they're probably the things they'd mention if asked what one thing they'd change about themselves. It's a funny old world ain't it.

Of course, the time when you're most sensitive, self-concsious and mourning your lack of perfection is when you're a teenager. Being a teenager is horrible. One of the ways I got through my teenage years (and my twenties, thirties and two of my forties, come to think of it) was by buying records...well, that and bunking school - in fact, the perfect pairing of activities. I was really into rockabilly at the time, and bought some brilliant records, including this one, bought in 1980 at the Record & Tape Exchange in Camden for £3.50, with the Christmas tips from my paper round: Hillbillies On Speed Vol. 2, Various Artists (Redita RLP-116).

This LP contains fourteen slices of hillbilly from the early '50's, recorded for the Speed record label. There's some great tracks on it including Hangin' Around by Bobby Helms, a cheery little ditty about stalking a woman and then hanging yourself, which would be one of my Desert Island Discs. Strangely though, it wasn't until this week, when I burned a copy to CD, that I discovered a track called Lovie Lovie by Chickie King (whose name sounds a little like a halal fast food outlet in Sparkhill, if you ask me).

Anyway, Chickie has the voice of an angel - and a very sexy angel at that - and the tune's an absolute stormer. There's absolutely nothing written about her online and I'd love to hear some more of her. Have a listen for yourself, and while your there, listen out for the bum note on the piano during the second bar of the intro.

Sick As A Dogg

2008-01-24T10:21:00.000Z

During the summer of 1998, Swamp Dogg came to the UK. He was due to play on a really sweltering Saturday night in Wolverhampton, of all places. Irish Dave, old Cidersrounger himself, agreed to accompany me over there. Somehow - and the details of this escape me, I'm afraid, but it probably isn't very interesting anyway - this coincided with a visit from several Irish punks, including Conor and Thomas, of The Freebooters.

Now, he's a funny old character, Swamp Dogg. I started buying his records back in the eighties - mainly at the now defunct Downtown Records in Romford. Downtown Records was a proper old record shop with a crowd pressed three-deep against the counter and hardly a space at the racks of records. At one point, they started selling second-hand records upstairs and I bought LOADS from there: about ten of the Kent northern soul compilations, five Jimmy Castor Bunch LPs (more about them another day, I reckon)...oh, loads of stuff, and all for about a quid each. I try not to think too much about the records that I didn't buy!

There was one album there which I bought purely because the cover bore an out-of-focus picture a man wearing a saucepan on his head. This, you've probably gathered by now, was Swamp Dogg, and the record in question was Total Destruction To Your Mind (Canyon Records 7006/Contempo CRM109), the title track of which is a spectacularly fine tune. This led me to purchase the rest of the available Dogg records from there and pick up a couple of others on later occasions when I've stumbled upon them, too.

He's a funny old stick, Swamp Dogg. He's been knocking round the music scene for a long time, but only took on the identity of Swamp Dogg in 1970. His records largely defy categorisation; they're a bit soul, a bit country, a bit rock, and he's got a very individual vocal style. His lyrics are often somewhat eccentric and he'll use his songs (or, indeed, his sleeve notes) to have a good old bitch about someone or something that has got his goat. Anyway, there's full biogs available if you Google his name, so I won't bother repeating them.

So, off go Irish Dave and myself to a hotel in Wolvo, only to find out when we get there that Mr Dogg had flown home to America following the previous night's gig in Manchester, without apparent explanation. Instead, there was a northern soul disco, which we reluctantly decided to forgo in order to shoot home to spend time with the visitors from across the Irish Sea.

Well, there's photos of the evening, which show that at some point we were joined by the Sikh lads who lived next door. I know the evening also involved Tequila slammers, and I know that I had my worst ever hangover and spent the next day puking into a half-full and stinking nappy bin. I've never drunk Tequila again.

There's a nice little radio piece about Swamp Dogg at http://unrealreal.blogspot.com/2008/01/swamp-dogg.html

Holidays In The Rain

2008-01-21T12:28:00.000Z

While I'm on the subject of Canvey Island...During the late '70's, from about the age of about nine up until maybe thirteen or fourteen, we had a caravan on Canvey Island. Every Friday evening from April to October, we'd bundle into the Vauxhaul Viva and drive the twenty five or so miles from Romford for a weekend next to the briney brown Thames Estuary.

Now Canvey was quite a happening little place at the time - much better than Romford, anyway. You had Chris Hill at The Goldmine as well as all the R&B stuff mentioned in my last post and, of course, punk was going off big time.

Anyway, this brings me to my next crisp biscuit, The World's Worst Record Show compiled by Kenny Everett (1979, Yuk Records, NE1023). Because the electricity was turned off during the day at our caravan site, we spent a lot of time listening to the radio. Now at the time, Capital Radio 194 was about as good a station as you could get. I realise that this will be a hard for anyone used to the modern Capital to grasp, but it was. You had the late Roger Scott's Cruisin' - which was responsible for getting me into Rock 'n' Roll, Greg Edwards playing imported American soul, You Ain't Heard Nothing Yet - a sort of panel show, which I won't even try to describe...Basically, Capital was at the top of it's game. And on Saturday afternoons you had the Kenny Everett show, one of the highlights of which was The World's Worst Record and this LP was the result of that.

What we've got here are twenty of the most bizarre tunes ever committed to vinyl, from the extreme mawkishness of Ferlin Husky's Drunken Driver to the out of tune Spinning Wheel by Mel & Dave, the religious zealotry of The Big Architect by Duncan Johnson to the what-were-you-thinking-banality of This Pullover by Jess Conrad (who has the acolade of having two of his tracks included). This is SERIOUSLY shite music.

I got my mint copy for 20p from the Cats' Protection League shop in Brum about five years ago, and skipped all the way home.

Oh, and look at the colour of the vinyl.

Poor, poor children!

2008-01-21T09:17:00.000Z

Sometimes I feel sorry for my kids. They must dread hearing the words "Here, kids, listen to this." The poor buggers then have to turn the sound down on Spongebob and listen to whatever tune has got me all juiced up at the moment, no matter what dark corners of the rack it comes from. The other day, I asked my daughter what she would remember most about me when I'm dead and gone. She said it would be me playing records to them.

Anyway, the reason I'm saying this is that this week's obsession has been the 1979 Lew Lewis Reformer LP, Save The Wail (Stiff Recordings, SEEZ16). Now, Lewis is a rather talented harmonica player from Canvey Island, Essex - a part of the world that spawned so many R&B bands in the late '70s that they started to call it the Essex Delta.

I happened upon this record about 10 years ago when it was in the 50p throw-out bin (the one they can't even be arsed to move inside when it rains) of Swinging Pig Record Shop in Birmingham. Now, back in the '80's, I'd seen Lewis play loads of times when he had teamed up with that other Canvey Island legend, Wilko Johnson. Lew was an absolutely first-rate performer: sweating, suit-wearing, harmonica dropping...absolutely first-rate. This all came to a rather abrupt and unfortunate halt when he got sent down for armed robbery. But anyway, I'd never got the chance to see his own band, but I wasn't going to pass up the chance to buy this little gem (isn't that a lettice?).

You've got 10 tracks of blistering not-quite-punk-but-not-quite-blues, and not a bad apple amongst 'em. A piece of music that is absolutely rooted in it's time and place. And one of the greatest band names to boot.

So, put yourselves in the place of my poor children. Imagine being eight or ten years old and having your old man deperately trying to get you to understand how FUCKING BRILLIANT this record is when all you want to do is watch Spongebob in peace.